In The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (2009), Jessica Valenti takes on the gatekeepers of the "virginity movement," a stable of somewhat influential antifeminists from the religious right who have made it their mission to return modesty and chastity to the forefront of a civil society. These stewards of self-control include Wendy Shalit (Girls Gone Mild), Dawn Eden (Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On), and Miriam Grossman (Unprotected). Spend time with their multiple tomes and what shines through is their belief that a girl's sexuality, or chastity, defines her character. Her intelligence does not matter — nor does her compassion or her community involvement. The whole of her being rests on if she "saves" herself for marriage.
And in case the message is not clear enough, Valenti quotes abstinence educator Darren Washington, who explains during a speech at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, "[A woman's] body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he's done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker" (41). With a few simple words, Washington (and his cohorts) reduces the [female] sexual experience to something dirty and the female equally filthy.
The Virginity Movement's True Purpose
Valenti deftly argues that the true purpose of the virginity movement is to regress to the era of traditional gender roles. Although their message is framed in terms of being desirable for both men and women, women are disproportionately assailed for daring to think they should want to be anything other than submissive housewives. "[Laura] Stepp believes that premarital and casual sex aren't really want women want. Like Shalit, Stepp wants her readers to believe that what young women really want is to get married, make babies, and bake cookies" (52).
The Evils of Feminism
At the root of this is of course the feminist movement and its misguided adherents, and resting squarely on their shoulders is the havoc being wreaked on the fairer sex. According to Valenti, both Shalit and Stepp conclude that feminism has effectively enervated women’s morality and by extension society’s as a whole. Suppress their very natural sexual beings, however, and a return to normalcy is achievable. "Focusing on our sexuality," Valenti writes, "is just one piece, and a tool, of the larger agenda. After all, there's a reason why the assumed goal for women in virginity-movement screeds is marriage and motherhood only: The movement believes that's the only thing women are meant for" (58).
Hypocrisy at It's Best?
Finally, Jessica Valenti raises a valid point in The Purity Myth: If the cause that the virginity police are fighting is the oversexualization of girls, why are they judging these same girls solely on their sexuality? Look no further than a Purity Ball to understand Valenti's point (described in this book in wretched detail). At these symbolic events, daughters pledge their virginity to their fathers, who, in turn, promise to guard these most precious of possessions until they marry. If the founders of these purity balls, Pastor Randy Wilson and his wife, Lisa, want to take sex off the table, why make it the centerpiece of a celebration?
Book Information
The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women
Jessica Valenti
Published by Seal Press, 2009
ISBN 1580052533, 9781580052535
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